Caddyshackin'

Golf. Whoa buddy. Talk about living life to the fullest,
edge of your seat excitement. Twain hit the golf ball tee
on the head when he wrote the activity is a, "good walk
spoiled."

Well...............

OK, so I was kinda getting into that Woods/DiMarco showdown
on the back nine of the Masters. Not "getting into" like the
Nets Pistons game that went to Triple OT in last year's playoffs,
but fairly engulfed. I watched that shit for three hours.
I don't quite know what to write. I've trashed the sport on
more than one occasion and have said more than once that if I
ever get into it, please euthanize me. Maybe I should reconsider.

I guess a good competition is a good competition is a
good competition. Except for Olympic Gymnastics and Swimming.
But that's a separate screed. From what I'm gathering, those dudes
were golfing it up about as hardcore as is possible. The tension
on Woods' face was so palpable... guy looked like he was going
to heave at any moment. The two just kept going back and forth
in dramatic fashion.. long ass puts, crazy chip shots.. there was
a comedic element of once a guy established some breathing room,
he'd nearly knock the ball into Alabama on his next shot, but
somehow find a way to just bogie.

What I am skeptical of is how many more times in my life I will
see a solid golf showdown like that.. the overlords of the sport
are about as conservative and unimaginative as they come. Would
be awesome if we could now do a Woods/DiMarco rematch series on
the order of Frazier/Ali or Bowe/Holyfield. Imagine how riveting it
would be if Woods and DiMarco were duking it out in W/D III and
the guys were trash talking throughout, Woods caddie had a mild
heart attack, and some guy came crashing in on the 15th hold in a
parashoot. OK, yeah, maybe I'm injecting the sport with a pretty
heavy dose of mission drift, or something.

For what its worth, I have super-fond memories of playing miniature
golf with the fam. at Rehobeth Beach, Delaware, growing up, and
there was no greater feeling than hitting that sweet hole in one
under the windmill and around Abe Lincoln and down the three terrace
levels and have the ball hang on the cusp before dropping in (I
must have done this at least a dozen times)... if adult golf fans
derive the same level of vicarious pleasure from watching Tiger's
killer shot hang on edge and drop in on the 16th (?) hole, well,
good for them.

And keep your head up DiMarco. Your day will come. Maybe.


Degree for men and Old Spice have officially put us on notice that they have not signed Tiger to a $100 mil antiperspirant deal.