Celebrity Sighting in NYC: No Joke

I've spent about 30 minutes of my life in Hollywood, California,
and didn't see a thing. I had a miserable hangover and stomach
ache from drinking too much rum the night before (this was about
five years ago, don't think I've had a big rum night since), and
a footlong hotdog from Pinks with everything including the
kitchen sink on it did make me feel much better. But that's
neither here nor there. At any rate, I've seen a boatload of
celebrities here in NYC. As I was walking to the West 4th St.
subway today, I passed Alec Baldwin talking rather pointedly to
an uber-attractive woman who looked to be about 30 years his
younger. I'm guessing the conversation didn't have anything to
do with custody of his daughter, Ireland. Or maybe it did, in a
roundabout kind of way... In these minutes before I head out
on the town for another Saturday night, I will now chronicle the
big names I've seen here in the Big Apple:

Tom Cruise -- Riding in car hooked up to a production truck
in Harlem, 120th St. and Morningside.

Kevin Bacon -- Sat across from me on the M3 NYC Bus heading
up Madison Avenue (only time a person has been a prick...
announced to the whole bus after he got on, without anyone saying
anything, that "we don't know you." I wanted to be, like,
dude, you're the guy from Tremors and My Dog Skip.)

Philip Seymour Hoffman -- Ran into this fellow like 3 times
in the span of a few months. First at a Halloween party with
the Atlantic Theater Company, then at the Nader Rally at MSG,
then at an anti-war event at Cooper Union. By the way,
upon first viewing, I found Capote to be boring and uninspired
with a bland script that didn't allow for a shred of character
development outside of Hoffman's character. I enjoyed P.S.H.
much more in boogie Nights and The Big Lebowski, and have a
feeling that he'll redeem himself in MI3.

Tim Robbins -- City Hall. All the above guys so far are about
5' 8". Robbins could play power forward in the NBA.

Jon Stewart -- Again, on 6th Ave, around West 4th. Guy is
like 5' 6". Not kidding.

Jeff Daniels -- Right outside the Christopher St. MTA stop.

Mike Gordon -- Cruising down Church Ave. in Tribeca

(B-/C list... Sam Rockwell on Court St. in my hood, Chris
Matthews with his NYU teenage son on St. Marks Place,
Steve Forbes at a Yankee game, Mandy Patinkin on Broadway
on the UWS, Jesse Martin at a Mos Def concert at the Bowery,
+ I partied with Anthony Mackie at my place in Harlem before
he got famous (OK... I was DJing, and he was hanging out in
the kitchen, not like we were doing kegstands together)).

OK, will expand this list as memories come to me. Clearly,
I have not had as much luck with the ladies. But I was
stoked to see Baldwin today... a fine actor in my opinion,
and I have loved his older, hardened roles in recent
flicks such as The Cooler and Along Came Polly. 10 4.